Such a cute photo from Meg Hansen Photography of little April at Tyler and Angela's wedding ceremony, yes? She was telling everyone who she thought that they loved the most; it was an adorable and precious moment for everyone.
What I see in this shot, is how far I have come in 11+ years. I see a celebrant who is completely immersed in the moment, striving to help a guest speaker (however tiny) feel confident and supported because it is not about me.
Your wedding ceremony has (almost) nothing to do with what I think, what I like or how I've won a few awesome awards (and I'm very grateful for them, but still what does it mean for you?)
I say this to my couples ALL THE TIME; the one thing I can guarantee is that none of your guests are excited about your wedding ceremony because I’m the one conducting it.
To be frank, they don't give a fuck who is solemnising your marriage as long as YOU (and your fiancé) are blissfully happy.
Okay, so the next step is, how do you make sure that you are happy with your celebrant on the big day?
There are a handful of heavy posts about the topic, which go over some of the more obvious things to be on the lookout for when you're booking your celebrant.
But for me, for a couple to be happy and experience an awesome marriage ceremony, a great celebrant needs to;
be able to evoke an intangible sense of calm during an emotional moment,
make light of an innocent slip of the tongue without making people feel embarrassed,
give the couple some space to breathe and be in the moment (when their head is spinning),
know when to hand them tissues before they start to cry, and
be connected to the couple, but not in a way that assumes intimacy.
The point being, that I (just like everyone else) have a very different perspective on wedding ceremonies to the next person. What I place value in is not everyone else's cup of tea.
I asked my celebrant colleagues what they think couples should be looking for in a great celebrant and they came up with even more ideas, such as:
a celebrant you 'click' with
someone who spends the time to get to know you
someone you can share a laugh with
when you walk away from talking with them you think, ‘yep they are awesome!’
they allow you the freedom to truly personalise your ceremony
someone you would happily sit down and have a beer/wine/coffee/kombucha with
someone professional with experience so they can help to guide you on aspects that you may not have even thought about yet e.g. crowd control, timing, unplugged ceremonies, seating, being gracious when working with other suppliers etc.
someone with a warm, friendly personality (so you and your guests don’t feel bossed around on the day)
someone with excellent testimonials and reviews
they use quality equipment (PA & microphones etc.)
But the trickiest part is that you won't know if your celebrant has some of these qualities until you are standing beside them on your wedding day.
So after you have completed your due diligence (check that the celebrant is registered, have a look at their testimonials/reviews, ask family and friends), the best advice I can give is to make sure that you have a chat with your celebrant before you book them.
If you are interstate or overseas or just finding it hard to get together in person, please make the time to tee up a Facetime, Zoom, Skype or Facebook video call - it's fabulous and it's free!
You’ll have a gut feeling, an instinct, just from chatting with them.
Trust that feeling and book them in ASAP because Australia’s best celebrants are booked a long way in advance (sometimes up to 18 months for the popular months of March, October and November).
And if you don't feel like they’re a great fit, just keep looking and asking questions - your perfect celebrant is out there somewhere.
Do you have any advice for couples looking for a great celebrant? Please let me know in the comments below.
